In case you missed my post and review of Ginny Kubitz Moyer’s new book on the Rabbis Without Borders blog at My Jewish Learning, here is another way to find it:
Awakening the Senses: Nothing has been more meaningful in my journey toward the High Holidays than reading Ginny Kubitz Moyer’s latest book from Loyola Press, Taste & See: Experiencing the Goodness of God with our Five Senses. This book — listed in the Ignatian Spirituality section of a Jesuit publishing house — is a source of inspiration in my search to elevate everyday experiences and imbue them with holiness. Read more →
I’m still thinking about how to engage all five senses and be fully present as the high holidays approach.
Having left you here, I prepare to make the journey home. I am alone, yet you are still with me.
I sit in the airport, scrolling through pictures on my phone and scribbling ideas in my notebook. I think about how you–perhaps more than your siblings–taught me a parent’s sense of control over a child’s life is pure delusion.
Once, when you were most intimately a part of my life, when I was your life support, your growing form sustained me as I mourned the loss of life. It is nineteen years to the day (if I’d delivered on time) that another child might have been born. Then you would not have been, my child, my teacher. I might not have learned to let go.
I look ahead–about to enter the High Holiday season in the Jewish calendar cycle–and prepare to let go of outmoded ways of thinking and being, which restrain me from becoming my best self. As your parent, the one who has left you in this place far from home, I trust you possess the strength to become yourself apart from me.
In this month of Elul and through Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish year, we recite Psalm 27 daily. The words resonate in a new way this year: “My heart says, ‘Seek my face and I will seek your face,'” and while I know the psalmist is addressing God and using God’s face as a metaphor for God’s presence in his life, I believe your presence in my life has helped me face challenges, seek justice and pursue peace.
In the days ahead, I will seek your face and gaze at your face in my mind’s eye, to be reminded we are always letting go and becoming who we are.